The Apptentice In Brick Lane

Every year I get drawn into watching The Apprentice. When the series starts I really can’t be bothered with it. Too many faces to learn and it will take about five episodes to realise who I want to punch in the face the most. But eventually it gets a grip on me. The episode that pulled me in this series was when the two teams set up a shops in Brick Lane with the intention of selling junk furniture (passed off as retro, vintage, or so called shabby chic) to the Shoreditch and Hoxton hipster gullible twats. To me this defined what The Apprentice is about, which is: Cunts selling shit to cunts to make money for a cunt.

Cover #14 Wooden Shjips - Vampire Blues

Yes another Neil Young cover. Its something about the mans songs that lend them so well to be interpreted by others. And Wooden Shjips interoperate the song Vampire Blues in the only way they know how. It is hardly recognisable from the Neil Young original that’s on the On The Beach album. Though that’s a good thing because in truth the original is not too good. A lazy plodding blues arrangement with Young singing “I’m a vampire baby, sucking blood from the earth” over and over. Wooden Shjips speed it up and add their usual scuzz distortion to it.



Follow link to download Wooden Shjips - Vampire Blues from Box.net

Roll The Dice - In Dust

An album that’s been on heavy rotation for the past month or so is In Dust by the Stockholm duo Roll The Dice.
I don’t have a favourite album of 2011 because I’ve not heard all the albums from the year that I want to. Such as the new Black Keys album which I will get I will get very soon. But if I was made to write a list of what I heard in 2011 then In Dust would be right up there as a top contender.
Its electronic with a warm analogue sound, and although it has driving hypnotic rhythms there isn’t a beat in sight. Instead they rely on the sturdy bass lines and piano. That and synths underpinning and thickening out the dark and moody sound.

Follow link to download Roll The Dice - See You Monday from Box.com

Titanic Failure

I saw the film Titanic at the cinema. The way it dragged on I thought the boat would never sink. Of course the film was very unrealistic, I mean as if the people who were reviving the ship would sit and listen to that old lady banging on about bolocks for three hours. “So you went to the front of the ship and held your arms out while he stood behind you. Well that’s all very nice but could you get on with it please.”

Now there is a 3D version of the film. I guess its come out now to coincide with the hundredth anniversary of when the Titanic sunk. Its all over the TV at the moment. There was even a documentary from the iceberg’s point of view.
Yes, yes I do know that about ninety percent of an iceberg is under water. File that under boring over told facts.

In Belfast where the ship was built there are tours on it. Its nothing to be proud of Belfast. The Titanic is revered and yet it’s a failure. A massive failure. Sunk on its maiden voyage. Like a boxer getting knocked out in one punch. A batsman getting bowled out with the first ball.
Guess that there isn’t many other tourist things to do in Belfast.

Elbow - Cast Of Thousands

The last Elbow album Build A Rocket Boys! didn’t make it onto any end of year lists that I came across. Sure there were many great albums released last year that never came anywhere near a list but after the success of The Seldom Seen Kid the follow up was an anticipated realise.
For me I was hoping that after finding success and acclaim they might go into the studio and make a real interesting record like Asleep In The Back or Cast of Thousands. But I had a feeling that they would walk down the middle of the road to keep the new fans happy with a couple of epic uplifting songs that will be played over sporting montages.
And that’s what they did but with the bland button on the mixing desk turned on full.
I watched their Glastonbury performance on the TV and it was painfully bland. Plus does Guy Garvey have to have a laugh and joke with the audience between every song? Get the fuck on with it!
I’m being hard on them because I know they’re capable of great work. And for me their best is their second album Cast of Thousands.