Smash The Ukulele

On catch up I just watched the Channel 4 ‘documentary’ When Keith Allen Meets Nick Griffin. I use the quotation marks because it was a documentary in the loosest terms. Keith Allen has been doing a few of these vanity project documentary’s lately. Louis Theroux he aint.
In the programmes introduction Allen explained how the meeting had been called off as Griffin called it off at the last minute. Allen persisted, and armed with a ukulele goes to Brussels and tries to speak to him anyway. Which he does.
The first brief interview went nowhere, Allen asking easy questions familiar questions to secure a proper second interview. The second interview was pointless and a third even more so. We know Griffin is a racist twat and this told the viewer nothing more.

My main grip with the programme was Keith Allen and his ukulele. Playing it on the Euro star, in the hotel lobby, in the European parliament, while he’s intervening Griffin in his office. If the thinking was that the ukulele is a jolly fun like instrument that’s the polar opposite to Griffin then it didn’t come over like that. It just appeared pointless and annoying.
Which is how I would describe the ukulele. Sales of the instrument have risen dramatically in the last few years. They have apparently become cool (though I would say more hipster ironic cool, which makes it not cool at all) and are popping up all over the place, like on that annoying match.com TV advert which makes me want to smash the ukulele over the blokes head every time I see it.
Enough, it sounds shit. Play a guitar instead.

ITV Coverage - Waiting For Roy Keane To Snap

I don’t intend to turn this into a football orientated blog, but this week my evenings have been dominated by some great games on the TV.
But there was one thing that(almost) ruined it for me and that was the Chelsea v Napoli match. Not the game itself but the dire coverage from ITV. Its standard to berate ITV’s football coverage, but not without reason.
Since Richard Keys and Andy Gray got booted out, Sky’s coverage has drastically improved. I couldn’t stand him as a player but Gary Neville has turned out to be a decent pundit. As has Graham Souness. The Europa league coverage on Chanel 5 has improved too. Their commentary is at least balanced, unlike the partisan ‘its us against the foreign team’ line that ITV take.
“But you got to cheer on the English team haven’t you?” No, anyone that says that doesn’t understand football rivalry.
Sure ITV want the English team to go through to the next round, that’s the bigger ratings winner after all, but don’t presume that everyone watching does. When Chelsea scored the eventual winner the co-commentator Andy Townsend celebrated with a “Yes, get in there.” Then near the end of the match when Didier Drogba was diving all over the place and feigning injury he described it as ‘clever'. If a Napoli player did that it would no doubt be ‘outrageous time wasting tactics'.
Then there’s the presenter Adrian Chiles who has somehow dumbed down ITV’s coverage even more with his inane meaningless comments such as “you would presume Chelsea to be the fitter team in extra time wouldn’t you?” Chiles gave no reason why and no one in the studio responded to him. Every time he makes a comment like this or some frivolous quip Roy Keane fixes a murderous stare on him. Or maybe that’s just how Keane always looks. I just hope that one day he snaps and throws Adrian Chiles though the commentary box window.
This weekend hopefully.

Marl Lanegan - Blues Funeral

I was thinking, when is Mark Lanegan going to stop pissing about being a voice for hire and get on with doing another solo record? Yes I like a lot of the work that he’s put his voice to. The three albums with Isobel Campbell were pretty good. The song Revival with the Soulsavers was truly great but the rest of the album wasn’t. The stuff with Greg Dulli had its moments. There’s other stuff that’s all fine too, but none of it is as good as the Mark Lanegan Band 2004 album Bubblegum.
Then I hear that a new album called Blues Funeral has just been released. So I ordered it straight away and its not let me down. There’s more of an electronic syth feel that’s a world away from his early solo albums like Whisky For The Holy Ghost. But don’t let that put you off. I’m still pretty fresh to it so I can’t say if I will be listening to it as much in years to come as I still am with Bubblegum. But it certainly has song songs that are as good as anything he’s put his name to.



Follow link to download The Mark Lanegan Band - The Gravedigger's Song from box.com

The Football Fans Fickle View

Fickle, it’s a word that I don’t like. The reason being is that for some reason I don’t like the way it sounds and the way it looks. There are a few words that I don’t like for these reasons and I usually avoid using them. Fickle is a word that is often used to describe football fans.
In football the highs and lows change in no time at all. Many times in a course of a season the media and fans can claim a team to be ‘in crisis’ only for the team to put a good run of results together and all is fine again.
Take the team that I support Tottenham. So far they are having a decent season. Third in the league and still in the FA Cup. Playing some great football along the way. But in the last two games they’ve been spanked by Arsenal and Manchester United. If they turn it around in the next couple of matches then it will be considered a blip but if the bad form continues then the knee jerkers in the media, fan forums and Twitter will be out in force. And in the space of a month the opinion on the players will have gone from great to useless. I myself sometimes get drawn into such knee jerk reactions.
When Manchester United scored their third goal on Sunday my thoughts towards the manager Harry Redknapp was “I hope he does take the England job. Maybe then we will get a manager that can get the team selection right.”
More scorn was aimed at the defence, especially Kyle Walker.
“He forgets that he’s a defender. Sure its great bombing down the wing but what’s the point when you switch off at defending set pieces all the time. Bring Vederan Corluka back.” was my reaction to his poor display.
A few games back I was saying that he has become one of he best right back’s in the league.
From great to shit in the space of a couple of games. If you are a Tottenham fan then you might recognise some of these thoughts on the players.

Brad Friedel
When team wins: What a shrewd singing he’s forty something years old and as good as ever. You can’t beat experience.
When the team loses: He’s too old to play at this level anymore.

Younes Kaboul
When team wins: He’s one of the most improved players in the Premiership this season. A rock at the back.
When team loses: As much as he’s improved he still makes errors and will never be a top class centre back.

Gareth Bale
When team wins: World class. Lets just hope we can hold on to him next season.
When team loses: Overrated. A so called world class player should be able to use both feet. We should cash in on him in the summer.

Ledley King
Legend, can’t even train during the week, turns up for the match and is pure class.
When team loses: A legend but the injury’s are catching up with him now. Its time to move on with a new captain.

Michael Dawson
When team wins: The defence is so more solid with Dawson in he ream. Always puts his body on the line for the team.
When team loses: He always puts his body on the line blocking shots because he is too slow getting to the ball in the first place.

William Gallas
When team wins: He may be past his best but he’s still got it.
When team loses: Why was he wearing red boots. Fucking gooner.

Benoit Assou-Ekotto
When team wins: A maverick, one of a kind. He plays like he couldn’t care less about the game. So cool under pressure.
When team loses: He played like he didn’t care. Sometimes when under pressure you just got to hoof the ball into the stand.

Danny Rose
When team wins: Will always be remembered for that goal against the scum but he’s really turning in some good performances now.
When team loses: Will always be remembered for that goal against the scum but he just isn’t good enough.

Niko Kranjcar
When team wins: Such a cultured footballer, he would walk into most other teams.
When team loses: How about putting a tackle in once in a while.

Jermain Defoe
When team wins: The best finisher in the team. A natural goal scorer.
When team loses: Stay onside. Stay on fucking side!

Luka Modric
Best midfielder in the country. Has the best outside right foot pass in football.
When the team loses: He would rather be playing for Chelsea anyway. He’s shooting is awful.

Scott Parker
When team wins: Five million what a snip. Should have bought him years ago.
When team loses: Stop running about like a headless chicken and giving away stupid free kicks.

Aaron Lennon
When team wins: When he’s on form he will skin any left back.
When team loses: Skins the left back then puts over a rubbish cross. What’s the point.

Louis Saha
When team wins: What a free singing he is. Could’ve been one of the top strikers in the world if he hadn’t pick up all them injuries.
When team loses: Past his best. Why wasn’t Defoe picked?

Rafael van der Vaart
When team wins: World class player, if he’s fit he has to play.
When team loses: Off the pace. Will he ever be totally fit? How about getting a corner past the first man for once.

Jake Livermore
When team wins: This season he’s come of age. Great to see a local lad in the team.
When team loses: Jack of all trades master of none. Will never become a regular first team player.

Sandro
When team wins: A beast of a player, though shall not past.
When team loses: Lets face it he’s had a couple of good games and a great game against AC Milan and that’s about it. How the hell does he get into the Brazil squad?

Tom Huddlestone
When team wins: What a passer of the ball, Hoddle -esc.
When team loses: Run fat boy run.

Emmanuel Adebayor
When team wins: A proper target man, has been the difference this season.
When team loses: Fucking gooner.

Football fans fickle. Never.

The Black Keys

If your looking for a up to date music news then this isn’t really the blog for you. You won’t find a sneak preview of the latest Vampire Weekend release here. I mean look, I’m posting a blog about The Black Keys album El Camino that came out at the back end of last year.
I only got around to listening to it a couple of weeks ago. I new it would be good, it was like I was saving the last piece of bacon on the plate.
Enough with the crap metaphors.
So if you haven’t heard it what’s it like? Fucking great. Is it better than Brothers? I think it may well be. Tell me more. No there’s no need to just get it.

Follow link to download The Black Keys - Dead And Gone from box.com