Its hardly surprising, I mean who would want to become a priest? You’re not allowed to have sex and people think that you probably mess about with alter boys.
When I was a kid my mum would sometimes drag me along to church. God it was boring (shit pun, sorry). And I really didn’t care for the priest at all. Don’t worry he didn’t tell me to touch him in a special holy place or anything, but he was one of them old hard line humourless types that droned on and on in an Irish accent that people from Cork would have trouble understanding.
When I was about nine or ten he made an unexpected visit to our house and invited himself in. My mum was not best pleased as she was in the middle of cooking dinner. He didn’t care about that as he took a seat and dug my mum out about us not always turning up for church on Sunday's. She made her excuses, like how I play football on a Sunday Mornings.
“Church is more important,” he said sharply. “you won’t get into heaven by kicking a football around a field.”
“Well we will try to go this Sunday,” my mum said in a defensive manner.
As he left he said, “Going to church is like washing behind your ears, you don’t think about doing it you just do it.”
I remember thinking at the time: I’ve never washed behind my ears in my life.
My mum was so pissed off at his visit that I never got dragged along to church again, and she soon stopped going altogether.
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