That Awful Song (fuck off James Blunt)

I don’t think that I would recognise any other James Blunt song apart from ‘Your Beautiful.’ I intend to keep it that way. I noticed that he was on Never Mind The Buzzcocks the other week so I took it that he has a new album out just in time for Christmas. I checked, he does. Who buys this mawkish shit? People who like James Morrison and think that Coldplay are edgy and want to get the new Rod Stewart American Songbook record (just in time) for Christmas. But at least James Blunts new record seems to have slipped under the radar. Not like in 2005 with that awful song Your Beautiful.
I fell out with a girl over that song. She was playing it on her phone. She’d recorded it onto her phone by holding it up against the TV speaker and pressing sound record. She had a load of recordings like this. I was bemused.
So I say to her, “Could you please not play that terrible song.”
“What do you mean terrible? If its so terrible then why has it sold so many records?” she says.
“Just because its sold loads doesn’t mean that it isn’t terrible.”
“I don’t think that you should criticise him until you’ve anywhere near as much money as he has. Which you never will.”
That comment really annoyed me. “Look, every time that I hear that shitty song from James fucking Blunt I want to punch him in thee face and keep on punching and punching,” I said as I smacked my right fist into my left palm.
“You couldn’t beat up James Blunt, He was in the army you know.” She then starts singing allow with the chorus.
“So what,? So is prince Harry and I’m sure that I could beat him in a fight.”
She dismissively tutted at me and said, “Prince Harry would beat you in a fight. He plays Rugby.”
“So, so fucking what if he plays a little bit of Rugby?” I was getting angry with her. She started to sing again.
“Look,” I say trying to compose myself, “whether I can or can not beat up James Blunt or Prince Harry is not the issue. That issue is that that song is shit.”
It ended there. I don’t see the girl around anymore and my feeling on that god damn has not mellowed.