Hotels

The first thing that I do in when I get into a hotel room is turn on the TV and see what channels they have. Can’t beat sitting on the bed with a beer and becoming accustomed to TV channels in a language you don’t understand. I really think that I could live in one, for a while at least. For a start I would get the room cleaned and towels changed every day or two. Plus I won’t ever run out of toilet roll or soap.
This autumn I’m looking to go away for a few days. Somewhere in England as I feel that although I’ve been to quite a few countries around the world I’ve not been to many places in the country that I’m from.

When looking on the internet at some places to stay (well my girlfriend has and I've said ‘yeah that one looks good’) it just so happened that The Hotel Inspector on Channel 5 was on. Its like Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares but with a hotel instead of a restaurant and a lot less playing up to the camera.
Along with giving the place a good scrub The ‘inspector’ was telling the owner of the hotel to get rid of the clutter in the rooms. “What and take away all the character!” the reluctant to take advice owner said in reply.
I’m on the inspectors side, The more sterile and characterless the hotel room the better. I don’t care for quirky inertia with a theme and fancy lampshades. I don’t want ornaments and plastic flowers on the dressing table. You bring your own character to the room. As in the wallet, loose change, beer bottles, snacks, cigarette packet and lighter on the table. Reading material scattered around. Bottle of water beside the bed. Last nights clothes on floor. Bag in one corner of the room and pile of dirty underpants in the other.